Personal character is quite difficult to define but it's something we recognize once we see it. It reveals itself in our actions. Developing a good character given our world today seems to be out of fashion but it remains the essential attributes to a healthy self esteem, good relationship and life satisfaction.
There are two types of personal character;
1) Moral character: it consists of your actions and behaviors which is a reflection of who you are.
2) Intellectual character: this consists of your attitude towards things like knowledge, wisdom, understanding, trust, love, fairness, equality, etc. Our thoughts guide our actions, So when there's a moral failure as we have in ou society today, it signifies a defective intellectual character.
A good character can also be seen as doing what is right in the presence or absence of anybody. The character you posses defines the kind of choices and decisions you make. It is also based on your value system and that is why we have various types of characters. Some people know how to think positively about any and everything while others don't. Some know how to love, trust, be courageous and so on while others are struggling with these.
When we talk about the crime and social vices overtaking our society in recent times, it's majorly because we are slowly discarding the good values we were brought up with and instead we are joining to make the society what it is since we have no different values to offer. We are slowly abiding by "if you can't beat them, you join them". It's true that you may or may not have been brought up with the right values but what you make out of yourself when you have come to know the difference between what is good and bad is up to you. More so, the outcome of your character whether good or bad affects not only you but those around you too. So when your character is bad, the result is always seen in the kind of actions you take on those who have had nothing to do with your poor personal character development. When it's good, it also shows. Either way, it takes trees to make a forest and it takes one tree, another tree and yet another tree to make trees. If we must change our society, it takes me and you to decide to build good character.
CORE VALUES FOR PERSONAL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
To develop a good character, some essential values include;
1) Trustworthiness: can you be trusted?
2) Honesty: do you speak the truth from your heart?
3) Courageous: are you brave enough to stand by what you believe in and not give in to peer pressure or what is obtainable at the moment?
4) Dependable: can you be counted on to do what you say and be available when you're needed?
5) Empathy: do you put yourself in other people's position and with hold judgement?
6) Loyalty: can you stand up for someone and not gossip behind their back?
7) Effective listening skills.
If we love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Mk 12:31), you will treat them with respect and dignity. If our answers to this questions are positive, 75% of our personal and societal problems would have been taken care of.
HOW TO DEVELOP PERSONAL CHARACTER
Developing a good personal character may prove difficult and you may not know how to consciously develop and strengthen the personal qualities you desire. Here are 6 practical steps you can take to develop any new value you need to incorporate in your character.
1) think about the kind of person you want to become at the end. Imagine the 'who', 'why', and 'how'. Also think about how your desired character will be of help to you and the people around you. While considering the 'how', dwell on the actions, behaviors, choices and decisions you need to make to achieve your desired personality.
2) set goals for yourself bearing in mind your identified actions to take, behaviors to discard and those to imbibe, the different but new choices and decisions you have made. Pen down these goals for easy remembrance. Your goals can be long term but it's usually better to start with daily goals then weekly, monthly, yearly and so on. At work, set goals for yourself on what you want to do or not do. You can start with one goal and then progress from there.
3) identify someone who has successfully accomplished what you hope to achieve. This person can serve as your coach or mentor. There's always someone we look up to, someone that when you're tempted to give up on your goal, you remember them and get motivated to carry on. Once you identify such persons, make a resolve within you to even do more than they have done. Listen to them more than you speak and work on yourself. Seek knowledge out from people, books, experiences everywhere you find yourself. Wisdom call out from everywhere (Prov8:1-3).
4) from your goals in (2) above, choose one goal and practice it for 21days. According to Darren, habits form after being practiced for 3weeks. It's always difficult at first but when it is practiced for as long as 21days, it becomes part of your subconscious and then becomes easy. After the first 21days, select another value and practice for same number of days.
5) get an ally: find someone who can keep you accountable to your goals. You may be shy to show someone else the changes you're going through but trust me they wish they can do the same. An ally helps you strive to do what you have resolved to do. Why we fail to stand by the choices we've made is because no one keeps us accountable.
6) reassess yourself and identify any factors standing in the way of your personal development. There may be resistance because you have lived in a particular way for years and have formed certain habits. However, being aware of this obstacles helps you discover better alternatives. Learn from your mistakes and that of others to avoid repeating them.
7) avoid engaging in past patterns of reaction. Certain situations that came up in the past may come up again. Notwithstanding, you have to remember to avoid reacting in the same way. What you attend, you energize and whatever you pay attention to grows. Thus focus on your key habit and on who you desire to be.
CONCLUSION
You don't need to be like everybody else, you just need to be the best version of yourself. Persist in practicing your new habit and by the end of the year, you must have mastered 17 new habits. Personal character development never stops and we may make mistakes along the line but it's better to make a mistake, recognize your mistake, learn from it and make the necessary correction. It's never too late to receive grace from God to be a better person. When we all do this together and extend it to our friends, we form a better society, the kind we long for and that is good for our children.
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