8 Ideas for building Self Resilience

Resilience deals with how well you can handle with and bounce back from the difficulties of life. It is the difference between handling pressure and maintaining your cool. Simply put, it is the ability to bounce back during or after difficult times and get back to feeling as good as before. 

Characteristics of Resilient people:

Resilient people tend to be optimistic and cope with stress more effectively. They are able to adapt to difficult circumstances that they can't change and keep on thriving. Instead of giving up, they learn from the different situations. In addition to these, they;

-are committed to things or a course and follow through till the end.

-recognize their limits to control.

-engage in supporting others.

-have a sense of humour.

-can easily adapt to change.

Importance of Building Resilience

Building resilience helps you bounce back after you face challenges, setbacks, disappointment and failures. Your ability to move on from a bad situation for example the loss of a business deal, finances, goods and the civil unrest going on in different parts of the world is a demonstration of resilience. 

Building resilience does not mean that you have not suffered difficulty or distress or that you have not experienced pain or sadness. It is not a very easy task. It is paved with an amount of emotional stress or strain. The stress can be from family or relationship problems, health problems, colleagues or business or financial problems. 

Building your resilience is a personal process because each of us react differently to stress and to trauma. The good news however is that resilience can be learned. Research has shown that some person's are naturally resilient while for others it doesn't come off naturally so they have to learn.

According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is defined as the process of adapting well in the face of trauma or tragedy, threats or other significant sources of stress (South wick et al, 2014). Resilience is more likely to exist on a continuum presenting itself in differing degrees across the various aspects of life. For instance, a person can be very resilient at the workplace but not in his/her personal life and relationships. Consequently, resilience is relative and therefore depends on the situation. 

It can change with time depending on your interaction and the environment around you. However, the more you learn about resilience, the more you can inculcate it into the relevant areas of your life. Building resilience skills help you face challenges and life difficulties and help you feel and cope better. It helps you handle stress positively.

Practical ways to build resilience

1) Self respect:

This has to do with your ability to set out standards of behaviour for yourself and others as they relate with you. It allows your to express and feel your emotions. Doing this helps you have more faith in yourself and know that your life is valuable. You also believe you should be respected by others. On the other hand, you protect yourself from risky behavior and situation. 

2) Empathy:

This has been observed to be related to resilience. It is your ability to care about and not mistreat other people who need support and have an opinion varying from yours. Once you are able to do this, you are more likely to also get a positive response from other people. This helps you feel good about yourself.

3)Be a positive thinker:

Building resilience is closely linked to being realistic, thinking rationally, being optimistic, expecting things to go well and forging ahead even when it doesn't. Always keep your eyes looking on the bright side of every situation. When things don't go well, focus on the facts and reality. Understand that one thing gone wrong doesn't imply that everything is bad. You also have to remember that difficult times are a part of life and they sharpen us to make us better individuals.

4) Go over some beautiful and memorable events:

Remember that everyone has a share of their bad days. It may help to recount the troubles you've had which you were able to resolve. You should also remember people who have gone through difficult times but made it through. Everything in life is about balance. When there is no darkness, you would not appreciate light. Same goes when there is no sadness, you would not appreciate joy. You therefore need both positive and negative emotions and experiences to appreciate what you have. Learn also how to be mindful of your day to day life...be happy in the moment and more joy will fill you.

5) Know when to let go:

It is a natural tendency to try to control things. However there are things you can control in life and there are also things you can't control. In the later situation, learning how to let go, adapting to change and moving on can help you have a new mindset and develop more resilience along the way. Be kind to yourself, have compassion on yourself and ease up on your expectations.

6) Build good relationships: 

Your ability to make and keep friends, sort out conflicts when they arise and work within a team is very important for building connections and having a sense of belonging. This connection can also serve as a support system which provides you with people you can trust and be able to talk to about your worry or challenges. They can also help you find a solution to a standing problem. Sometimes, you can also render an act of kindness to someone and put a smile on their face.

7) Do some physical exercise:

Exercise and movement helps increase your energy level and release endorphins into your system. This endorphines bring about euphoric feeling and general wellbeing. Do some physical activity like walking, playing football, skipping rope...

8) Do something you enjoy doing:

Do something that helps you relax. It can be watching the TV, cooking, reading a book, listening to an empowering music, writing...anything that helps you relax. For some people, it can hanging out with friends, going to the movies, eating something new or something out of their normal diet. Whatever makes you relaxed and calm, do it and you'll feel good about yourself.

In summary, you must realize that challenge is temporary and thus focus on creating happiness. It also helps if you think of others who rely on you. Even if you don't know how to get over a situation, your resilience can help keep them calm.

Identify your emotions and regulate them so that your actions are not dictated by them. Accept what you can't change and find your way around it.

Hope this can help you as you build resilience to withstand the pressure of this century. Based on your experiences, you can add more ideas or questions in the comment session. Also share and help someone... Thank you!