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A Shift to Selflessness


Selflessness is an important factor in marriages, relationships, and friendships. It is the key to happiness and fulfillment. Though important, it is paid little or no attention. There's practically a lot of talk about self-confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem and this isn't bad in itself. However, life doesn't have to be about our selfish purposes all the time. Instead of living to advance and achieve our selfish goals, we can live to solve the problems we encounter in the world. We can strive to be or provide a solution to the problems of other people. 

When you take time to critically look at inventors, their inventions were never for themselves. For example, Mary Anderson didn't invent a windshield wiper for herself, Neil Arnott didn't invent a waterbed for himself neither did Fredrick Banting invent insulin for himself. They all worked hard at ensuring they solved a problem they encountered while they were alive.

We strive daily to outdo other people, dominate others, be in positions of power and authority to order people around, and make decisions that impact them. However, the happiness that stems from this way of life is usually very temporary. It only lasts for as long as we possess its source. In addition to this, nobody is drawn to someone who happens to be selfish and you rarely see people make sacrifices for a selfish person.

Rather you always notice you're drawn to selfless people. These are the ones who reach beyond power and authority to the heart and soul of others, they make the greatest impact for which they're remembered in and after their lifetime and their happiness is long-lasting.


Meaning of Selflessness
Selflessness is the ability to go all out for another person. It means you can go out of your way to do something good and kind for another person without expectations. It means esteeming others above yourself. It is about keeping other people's feelings in mind when we say or do things.

According to the Oxford dictionary, selflessness means to be more concerned with the wishes and needs of others than with one's own needs. 

In our world today, we see acts of selfishness around us daily. People focusing only on their own desires and feelings and not showing concern for others. As a result of this, we see people doing harmful things to other people just so they can achieve their personal gains. People make plans and plots to take another person out of their position, trample on other people's rights just because they want the position or are in need of what another person possesses. We get so caught up worrying about ourselves, wondering about things not going the way we planned it that we forget about other people.

Imagine a world where we all spend time focusing on other people's needs. This will increase the chances of a lot more people being happy.

In all we do, we have to grow to that point of being selfless and considering the needs of others. This is not to say we have to neglect ourselves. But since we relate with people it is important we also consider their feelings.

Selflessness does not stand alone. It is linked with other qualities such as humility, kindness, patience, self-control, generosity, thoughtfulness, and care. There are several examples of selflessness. A firefighter going into a burning building to save a child stuck inside, people making donations to charity, nurses, doctors, surgeons, and other health personnel are dedicating themselves to making sick people well and saving lives for instance in the case of Covid-19 pandemic and other communicable diseases. Another example is parents who have at one point or another always given up pleasure, goals, time, and sleep for their children's wellbeing.

The most example of all is the death of Christ on the cross for all to be saved. that's the best selfless story that quickly comes to mind. He had no expectations, He obviously had nothing at stake but out of sincere love for us, He who had no sin in Himself died on the cross, enduring pain, shame, insult, for people other than himself. 
It is a selfless act to try to understand things from another person's point of view or let them have their way on a matter, let them have a pie even when it's the last piece, or let them pass first at an intersection. It is an act of selflessness when you let someone have something because you have considered their need and seen that it's weightier than yours. 

Benefits of Selflessness
It is easier to attain and achieve happiness when everyone is helping each other try to get them. Selflessness helps you feel good and also influence others to be good (the reciprocity principle). More so, when we commit to selfless acts for those we care about, we are showing that we do love them.

According to science, selflessness is associated with inner peace which is related to a lower level of cortisol whose high levels result in cardiovascular diseases.

It helps us connect more with people. As we feel good from being selfless, we exude happiness which attracts people to us and also increases our bonding with each other. Every time we set time aside to help each other, we bond the more.

Selflessness always comes with joy and satisfaction and gives us peace of mind. 

Pursuing Selflessness
Selflessness is a quality we can develop in ourselves. It is not inherited. Hence to practice selflessness, the first thing we have to do is decide to perform acts of kindness every day. It can be in different ways;

Bringing out your time to listen to a friend speak is a way to be selfless. By this, you understand them the more. Endeavor to not be distracted or loose focus, be attentive to what they have to say.

Sometimes, someone we know might be in distress and all they need is a hug, give it to them. 

Helping a friend who needs your help is an act of kindness. Any way you can, just be of help. A friend can be moving to a new house, looking for information or advice. While you listen to a friend talk to you, you can get ways to be of help and assist without them asking for it.

Your words of encouragement can also go a long way to help a depressed person. 

You can also volunteer to help a group of people do something for a community of someone. This is all that selflessness is about.

Daily acts of kindness can go a long way to show we truly care about someone. Indeed, if we want to learn how to truly pursue selflessness, Christ's lifestyle is the best example and the bible is the best manual we can ever find for the lesson. We can start now to focus on other people and how to help them. How have you decided to practice selflessness?

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