When you resort to pleasing people, you realize that striving for popularity leaves you susceptible to making bad decisions and a compromised moral and standards. Most times, we believe that people with high IQ achieve better success in life. Don't get me wrong, its actually great to be smart. But when you take a closer look at high-achieving people, you will observe that emotional intelligence is really the driving force behind their performance. Here are a few habits emotionally strong people possess;
1) They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves:
Emotionally strong people can complain, rant and indulge in self-pity. But this doesn't last more than its supposed to. According to John Maxwell, the period of self-pity should not exceed 24 hours, after which you move on with your life. They also avoid the company of those who spend time complaining. This is because complaints are contagious. So when you feel compelled to self-pity, subject yourself to tough love and build immunity against grumbling.
2) They don't resent other people's success:
The ability to be okay and appreciative of other people's success is a way of life peculiar to emotionally strong leaders. Instead of being insecure about what somebody else has been able to achieve, they learn one or two things from the other person. They don't mind asking questions to identify what they may not be doing right. They are never jealous of or resent other's success because they know understand that their hard work will pay and don't expect immediate result. Just like investments don't yield immediate returns.
3) They avoid giving away their power:
The average person does not like to see self-motivated people achieve. They therefore make side comments about the additional work you have decided to put upon yourself in order to make things turn out better or tamper with your positive outlook with their negative energy. Don't let them get to you and if you cant, distance yourself from such people. Healthy relationships nurture dreams while unhealthy ones inhibit them. This may prove difficult at first because they are relationships built over time. However, its more beneficial to have like-minded friends instead.
4) They focus on what they can change, not what they can't:
So many times, we waste our time ranting about what we don't have control over. Complaining is like bad breath which you only notice when it comes from the mouth of other people not ours. Be emotionally prepared to constructively handle unforeseen circumstances like an unexpected traffic (by having something to divert your attention to), lost items or opportunity (which you are unable to bring back), long queues or even the actions of other people. Don't waste your energy dwelling on something you are unable to control.
5) They refuse to repeat mistakes:
Emotionally strong people are self reflective people. They spend time at the end of the day to review their daily activities. This helps them to check and note what went well and how to do it better given the opportunity. They also analyze what didn't go well and how to prevent a re-occurrence. Emotionally strong people always seek the truth and are also honest with themselves.
6) They don't feel the World owes them anything:
Most times people feel a successful relative, the government or someone they've helped previously owes them something. By this they are usually disappointed and sometimes shattered and angry when they fail to receive whatever they feel they are being owed. This is not the case with emotionally strong people. The mentally strong person always works to achieve for themselves what they desire. They don't feel the world owes them anything and so most often are independent of anybody to achieve their goals. A mentally strong person depends instead on God for grace, strength, wisdom, understanding and whatever else needed to achieve her goals.
Intellectual intelligence takes you only so far. But as you go higher in life, you would realize that what carries you and the more success you achieve depends on your emotional strength.
Great leaders are self aware, self-managing, self tolerant and possess emotional elasticity for various circumstances. These habits can be cultivated if you strive to make a better leader in the family, at work, in a group or association, church and wherever leadership is needed.
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